The Divine Dating Tips

The Divine Dating Tips

Written by Angelique Henderson

The divine dating tips are designed to assist women of faith to use their gifts from the Holy Spirit when dating. It is imperative that contemporary Christian women obtain a strategic skill set to be utilized for a healthy dating life.

1.       Pray before you date. No, this is not silly, only God knows what is in the hearts of men.   I recommend that the following prayer be said:

God, please don’t let me embarrass myself or compromise my faith on this date. Please show me the heart of this man. Please show me what his intention is and what would be the purpose in being together. In Jesus Name Amen

2.      No sex, no sex talk.

Get your protection out and keep it out at all times. As a Christian woman you have an advantage. Your protection is your gift of discerning from the Holy Spirit. Use it. God desires that we refrain from sex before marriage; not as punishment as though he is withholding any good thing from us, but he will block any bad thing from us. Be safe, before you undress your full armor of the Lord just to let your Hallelujah Hormones out to play. This can be dangerous ladies.

I know that you may have gone there in the past, and you are saved but you have no desire to live a celibate life. Or maybe you do celebrate celibacy.  Sex, is a very powerful gift from God. We as Christian women must learn to use our gift wisely. We do not want to end up emotionally connected to a man that is not our God mate. Also, don’t be fooled, God is shielding us from all of the hurt that the misuse of this gift brings. Don’t compromise your faith for some finger happy fornication. It’s not worth it. Don’t be guilty if you fall. But don’t be foolish because your hormones want to play.

3.      Single moms; don’t break out the pictures of all your cute babies until at least the third date.

Focus on yourself and enjoy your date. If you like him, take a deep breath don’t be so quick to introduce him to your children. Don’t look for approval. Pray, yes again. Pray that God show you how to introduce this man into the lives of your children. Ask him to show you his heart for children. You need to know if he is violent to children and or abusive. God will always protect YOUR babies. He will answer this prayer.  This prayer is only if it leads to a long term situation.

4.      Refrain from talking about your income or his income on the first few dates. It is none of your business; he is your date, not your husband.

It is important to refrain from looking like a gold digger. It’s also wise to obtain information about whether is income is adequate without sounding like a detective while on the date. Men like to boast on their income a lot. If he does boast don’t speak about his money. Also don’t allow him to question you about your money.

5.      Pray on purpose.

Refrain from shutting down all departments of communication just because you have a man in your life. Some women have a habit of failing to keep relationship with their friends and family, they put all time and energy into the mate of the month. During the time you are involved refrain from the temptation to cease communication with God, your friends and family. Continue to pray about the purpose that God will have for your life. I am not suggesting that you pray if the man that you are currently seeing is the purpose for your life. Pray that God will reveal purpose and when he does begin to start to position you in your purpose. Just before God blesses you with your mate, he may have a ministry , business or initiative in the workings for you.

6.      No heavy petting it creates the appetite for sex

7.      When your hormones begin to come out and play, you respectfully send them back to their room. This means. You fast. Go into a three day flesh fast, read scripture and journal your feelings and then pray that God will renew the spirit of your mind, and clean your temple. If you honor God he will honor you.  It’s a long wait sometimes, but he will take care of you. 

8.      No blabbing while dating.

This is simple, refrain from telling your girlfriends about your mate. Please don’t call your friends about all his bad habits; They will begin to form an opinion about him. Take your problems to the Lord. Your friends do not know what the will of God is for you. But God does. Take your issues to the Lord, if you must consult someone make sure it is wise counsel (basically you’re saved friend that will give you wise counsel advice).  

9.      Do not introduce him to friends/family until God has showed you the heart of man.

If God shows you this is not the man that should be in your life. I suggest you get rid of him. God cannot protect you when you are outside of his will. If you allow the trespasser to trample in your life, clearly God will not demand his way in your life. He will gently call, but you will be too wrapped up in YOUR man, to hear his call. When God gives you the okay, then you will not have conflicting feeling in your spirit, when your family begins to offer too many opinions.

10.  Celebrate Celibacy, refrain from telling everyone.

Your intimate relationship with God is exactly that intimate. Refrain from telling men on the first few dates that you are celibate. This can be intimidating information to hear, even if he is a good man.  Everyone is not always emotionally ready to hear this kind of information so soon.  When you don’t know a man, you don’t show him all of your credit card bills, you don’t give him your bank account numbers and all other personal information. Therefore, this is personal information you do not know what he will do with that information. Be wise and wait to see if he is mature minded enough to handle that kind of conversation. Pray before you talk.

11.   Pray , Eat, Live

There is nothing like dating or ending a bad relationship to make you feel as though you are in a dating drought.  Keep hope alive. How did you do this? Eat your daily bread, (the bible), pray and fast like it is your last meal, read Christian and inspirational books as an appetizer, talk with Godly friends about your single faith walk for dessert and pray in position. The position of prayer, God will give you hope and you will receive information about the will of God for your life. Prayer will protect you as you move closer in your purpose. Prayer and fast will break your flesh that you may present your body as a living sacrifice. Pray that you will encourage other women to pray for purpose, celebrate celibacy and divinely date. Finally live like God intended you to live, with character, integrity and moral excellence.

God Bless

Happy Valentine’s  Day.

Hallelujah or Horror for the Holidays

Written by Angelique Henderson

Singles have it hard throughout the holiday season. There are so many singles who endure repeated being badgering sessions by relatives. These singles are made to feel as though they are testifying in court as to an acceptable reason, for why they are still single.  Sitting at the holiday tables eating turkey and fearful to ask for gravy. As it will open up a can of worms, to all the married relatives, who relish in their success and false sense of superiority of their singles relatives.

Then there are some singles who dread being single as the have lost their significant other to death.  The widows are constantly tortured by the mere thought of past holidays when the one they loved is no longer available to carve the turkey and trim thetree. They recall tender episodes in their mind about making plans together and sitting romantically snuggled on the couch. A glass of eggnog and a slice of rum cake in hand, as they listen to the sweet songs of Silent Night playing.  Hallelujah it’s the holidays. The small peaceful gratitude feels their heart. They are grateful for a loving spouse someone to love and a great family.  

But the nights become long and miserable since the demise of their significant other.  The holidays are no longer a halleluiah time, but a time of horror. Somehow the joy to the world has not stopped by the heart of the widows and widowers.

The next single lady is the single that is generally satisfied with her singleness but the holidays do make her ponder her future. Maybe next year this time, she secretly wishes in her heart.  I will be celebrating with a mate or a husband, or at least a fiancée.  A smile comes to her face as she decorates her tree all alone. She has gifts for friends and relatives. With hope still remaining in her heart, she believes one day she will place a gift under the tree for her own children.  How sweet. She prays to God, asking him to bring her through the holidays, and remove the spirit of loneliness.  He does answer her prayer, but drops in a dose of hope and faith to carry her through the next holiday.  She is happy and joyful, but curiosity in her spirit, as she patiently waits to see what the Lord will bless her with next  Christmas.

Finally, the single mom, this morning she woke up and in her morning prayer she thanked God for allowing her to provide gifts for her children. It is hard to give them everything without their father in the life to help.  God stepped in to reassure his daughter that he is a father to the fatherless. Her heart is filled with the love of the Lord and she plans to pass the love to her children.  This holiday,

she asks God to give here the gift of energy, joy and abundance.  She will need these gifts to get her through another holiday with a teenager a pre- teen and a little one.

The holidays can sometimes be a stressful or frustration time bundled up with joy and happiness

about the season. Even the New Year may bring new worries and woes that will happen in the new season. However, you are single in Christ, but not single as in alone and desperately lonely. Don’t allow the enemy to fool you and make you believe that just because you are not married in this season that you cannot go on any further alone and lonely.

 

Why I am not married?

 

I have often wondered why so many people ask this question on a date?  I am left with an awkward feeling. I have no idea, the type of response I am expected to make, whenever I had been questioned as to my marital status.

 But in any case, I have written in my journal about the steps and struggles of being saved, sanctified and single. Women of God, where to petition this request to God, what do you think would be his answer?  I think to some he may say, you may be distracted, others he may say this is not your season to be a wife. Others may be in preparation and yes, others the Lord may not have ever purposed you to be a married woman.

I have a friend that questioned God as to why she was not a mother. I could have answered the question for her, if she would have asked me. She is a youth pastor and the connection she has with the children is almost as though she is a parent to all the children that walk into her youth church.  It’s amazing to see her play mother hen to hundreds of children.  I could easily see that God did not allow her to be a biological mother of a few children, because her calling her to be like Sarah, the mother of all his children.  God called a woman that he knew, would love all of the youth at her church just like they were her very own.  She was trusted to love them with a mother’s love.  If God had blessed her with biological children, she would be so wrapped up in her little ones that he would have a neglected flock. So God gets his glorify from her when she talks care of his children. God is Beautiful.

Why I am not married?  Good Question. I asked myself this question before, I asked God. I was amazed when I looked at myself in the mirror. Why you are not married? It was silent; you could hear a pin dropped before my mind fiddled for an answer.  Well you never really desired to be married?  You said you wanted to get married but you never really pursued getting a husband.  True. This is so true when I dwelled upon my response for a moment I realized that I said one day when I get married but when I dated , I never really made plans to get married and the men I chose to date where not mean that I dreamed about marriage.  When I first thought about marriage, I thought a wife cooked cleaned and gave a man a lot of married sex….LOL…..LOL… Don’t laugh, you thought that too.  Or maybe you didn’t. But if you explored your thoughts why you are not married?  At this very moment. Why?  Have you been accused of being too picky? Do you turn down to many suitors because you love being single and independent. Are you not married because you think based on statics you have a better chance of getting a strange disease then getting married? I also will stress, when you ask this question, don’t judge.

TOP 20 reasons WHY WOMEN SAY NO TO MARRIAGE?

1.      I just have not found the one.

2.     I did not fall in love yet.

3.     I was not ready for marriage.

4.     I was married once and I am done with that marriage stuff.

5.     I was engaged and after careful thought I just changed my mind about marriage.

6.     I want to marry but the man I am currently seeing does not desire to marry.

7.     I am saved, he is not I am not sure if we are evenly yoked, as the bible says.

8.     I am not certain if he is the one.

9.     I have seen so much divorce I just don’t want to end up in divorce court if I marry.

10.    I am single parent and my marriage may affect my relationship with my children.

11 I am single parent; I have not married because a lot of men are turned off that I have children.

12.   I just want to be alone.

13.  I’ve been cheated on in the past and how so I know this won’t happen again.

14.   My current boyfriend does not believe in marriage.

15.     I want to live together first.

16.    Marriage, I am working on my career.

17.       A lot of eh men I meet are not really husband material.

18.     He does not make enough to take care of a wife.

19. I   want my children to be adults before I enter marriage.

20.       Men don’t want to get married that just want to play.

Single and Secure

You just received another invitation to a bridal shower and you heard the announcement in church about the young lady in the congregation that is getting married.  Everyone is so happy when they hear the sound of wedding bells.  Often time’s single women walk in a room and you are eyed by both women and men. Women secretly whisper, I just don’t understand, she is such a nice girl, why is she still single? Men look at you as though something must be wrong if you are that nice and you have not walked down the aisle yet. 

This type of behavior and comments can be a factor in the growing number of single women that are not secure and single.  They walk around feeling as though they are minus one. They carry themselves in a manner as though once they are married they can give themselves permission to live their life. If only I had a mate or if I were married I just don’t want to do these things alone, just a few single women comments. .  I heard a woman say that she got married because she was tired of being lonely.  Well, if that is her only reason; that is a sad reason.  Loneliness is a condition of life. The bible tells us that it is not good for man to be alone. The bible never said that man will never experience loneliness.  Guess what you can be married and experience the emotion of loneliness. Please understand that loneliness is not the single person’s disease, which is only cured if we get married.

Ladies, never feel insecure about your singleness, sometimes people will make comments and you may ponder the thought from time to time that “if you are so great, why are you still single”. This type of chaste conversation can crush the single girl confidence.  YOU ARE SINGLE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED.  God, out Father, knows everything, he knows if and when he has called us to the ministry of marriage. People can introduce you to someone they can encourage you, but they cannot evenly yoke you, with your God Mate.   I urge all single women of faith to boldly petition the Lord, your Father with this request. Do you have  the ministry of marriage for me, and if so is this my season?  There is nothing wrong with seeking the Lord as a single woman about your future.  Once you receive your answer from God, you can stand securely as a single woman.  You no longer have to be scattered around in the club or networking events hunting for a man. You are secure in the knowledge that God will send him in his season.  The wait is long.  King David waited for years before he became king.  Queen Esther was preparing before she married the King.

We have no evidence that Esther was complaining about why she has not met the King earlier.  We also do not see any evidence in the bible that Esther complained about being prepped and pruned by God to be the woman that he has always purposed her to be.  Ladies!!!, the single girl faith walk is long, but endure like Esther and do not be distracted by the other maidens in the palace. Esther was not observed gossiping with the other maidens about whom the King was going to pick and when he was going to pick his Queen.  She was busy; she made the sacrifice to prepare herself so that she could get married and glorify the Lord.

 I encourage you to pray without ceasing a prayer that will transform your single life.   Ask God to make you a living example of single women of God.

My prayer for single ladies:

 In Jesus Name, I ask that you  shatter chaste conversation that attacks the minds of your  single daughters. In Jesus Name, I pray that God will make your spirit steadfast, to move in your singleness with grace, as you imitate the Proverbs 31 woman. Father in Jesus name, I pray that all single woman of God, hold on to your unchanging hand, and you hold on to their hormones. I ask that you give every single woman that is reading this blog, the gift of discernment, prayer, wisdom, love and security. I pray that you give all single woman of God faith like Ruth, Favor like Esther.  In Jesus name I pray

Be Blessed Ladies and Be Secure in your Singleness.

The Single Girl Companion

Ladies, as we look to the Lord in our singleness for a companion, I implore you to find a “book companion”.  A book companion is a book that serves as a support tool outside of the bible.  I read the bible to obtain instruction from the Lord, with regards to my “singleness”. Because I need to be empowered, inspired and I need to feel like I am not in this single walk alone.  So I pick up a book that I know is scripturally based. This book will be a companion when my mind wanders from the word.  I will read it on the train, in the bathroom or even at break when I am on the job.  This will help me feel that the word of God is REAL and ALIVE in these contemporary times.

 My recent book companion is the book written by Dr. Juanita Bynum, titled NO MORE SHEETS; if you have read this book I suggest you read it again.  It is a POWERFUL BOOK.  If you have never read it, please read it and give it to your friends to read. I suggest you host a book discussion with your single friends.

Ladies, Single Woman of Faith always need a companion, even if it’s just a book…..

God Bless….Single Ladies

GOT PROTECTION

I am a single woman that lives in this fast pace culture.  We live in a world today with individuals who chose to date with deceptive intentions in the hearts of men. We find women that have suffered heartbreak all over the world.  Women go into relationship without our protection. We find out later that he never really loved you or that he really likes boys not girls. We cry at night because we were dating him for years and he was married. We are angry that he was deceptive but we are not really smart with ourselves and wear our protection.

For about three years the Lord, told me to use my gift of protection.  The world has a gift of protection called the condom. You probably place in your purse.  You can never be to careful.  But NO, that is not what the Lord gave me it’s better than a condom. It’s the gift of discernment.  OH YEAH!!,  THAT GIFT FROM THE HOLY SPIRI THAT YOU FORGOT TOTAKE WITH YOU ON YOUR LAST DATE.

  Well listen up girl, this gift, is the bomb.  I went out on a date and I was going out with this guy at least a year. He started talking marriage but I was so uncertain.  He said that he was just like me he was willing to wait until we were married before he would engage in intimate acts. I was happy, but suspicious. Something in my spirit did not believe he was authentic, but something in my ears, just wanted to believe him.  Well I started praying and the HOLY SPIRIT showed up and revealed to me  this man’s heart. He had no intention to marry me. I was shocked.  So, after the Lord showed me the truth of the matter, I broke up with the man.  When I broke up with him, I said to him that I appreciate the fact that he was going to wait until marriage.  He said to me, “I never want to get married that is a big responsibility.”  My heart thumped, my heart dropped.  My spirit smiled.  I said to him, you never had the intent of marriage in your heart. He said “no”. I said but you told me that you would wait until marriage to be with me.  He said “yes” I said that. “I thought I could break you down with my charm” . He said it’s okay I had protection it was no big deal. I said to him as I proceeded to close the door in his face….oh that’s okay, I used my protection first and I am soooo glad I did.   DISCERNING SPIRIT…..never leave home without it.

God Bless Single ladies...please dont forget your protection on your next date.  You put it in your heart not ypur purse. 





 

Temptation Toys

Recently I was speaking with a woman that I have known for about a year. She is a single woman in her late 40’s, never been married.  She EXPRESSED HER EXCITEMENT about how, while home at night she plays with her sex toys. I was shocked.  I am not judging, or criticizing, but I was ready to show love.  I was happy that I could show her that God has a mate, it’s not too late, to put her toy down.  She admitted that she started playing with toys out of frustration that she had no man. This woman is not a woman of faith, so this activity is pure fun for her she does not categorize this activity as a sin.  I know that we women of faith have higher standards but I so badly wanted to express to her how; that her choice of behavior was sooo destructive to her purpose. I did not want to sound like I was preaching, but I did stress to her that there is no better feeling than the companionship of a woman and a man. I told her that she was not a little girl, so why was she still playing with toys.  She started to laugh.  She was amazed that I did not express her joy.  She asked me “well late at night what am I supposed to do, until my husband comes”. I told her that if she was a to wait and prepare  like Queen Esther, she should thresh like Ruth.  But since she had no idea about these marvelous women of God, I prayed quickly.  I petition to the Lord, what  should I tell this woman, so that she can know that there is hope in God.

Women of God, it is sooooo hard to hold on to God’s unchanging hand on a lonely, slow Friday night, and hold on to your hormones too. I am a single woman with the same issues.  I have relied on prayer and prayer journaling. I realize that God wants me to wait, until I am married not as PUNISHMENT, but as a precaution.  Sometimes, we talk ourselves into things that we have secretly lusted in our heart.  We desire a man, but really don’t want a husband.  We want the joy and pleasure of sex, but do not want the weight of intimacy.  This 40 year attractive woman, who could probably walk in any place and get a phone number was fooling herself playing with toys and expecting God to send her a husband.  When you are playing with toys, you are lusting. God cannot send you his LOVE (GODMATE) because your actions have shown, you are not ready to receive him.   Don’t get me wrong. Men, play as well, they get a playmate, the bible describes this kind of woman as the “WAYWRD” woman.

So I told this woman that I was going to pray for her. She smiled, she looked relieved.  I am still praying for her and other women like her. I know she said she did not want the drama of a relationship it was easy to run to a toy. I told her that I was going to pray that God  WILL, send her a man in her life that would show her LOVE that she would forget all about her toys.  She laughed. I told her wait and see.  Toys cannot and will not love.  They cannot even lust, they serve no purpose and have no power.  The power in  your hands;  ladies and the enemy knows it. Don’t be scared of the NEW SEXUAL REVOLUTION, it’s here, stand up and take your power. I will wait on a GODmate.  In the meantime, prepare for your date, with your God mate. God wants to give you love not LUST.

So I pray for all the single woman that have fooled themselves and are distracted by what I call temptations toys.  Please ladies, don’t lower standards because you are tired frustrated and just bored. God may have a powerful man of God, but you will never know if you don’t ask him.  You will never know if you are tooo busy playing with toys at night. 

PRAY….. DON’T PLAY…. ..FAST DON’T FORNICATE….GLORIFY GOD……..DON’T GOSSIP….BLESS MEN….DON’T BASH.  We are single women of faith, we should support one another, start a prayer group for single women, or a single woman bible study.  God will honor you if you honor him with your body. 

God Bless

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